oh my god my dad just went out to walk the dog and he must have got halfway down the street and then he just came back and I was like “what’s the matter” and he just said really quietly “i forgot the dog” and my dog was just siTTING BY THE DOORSTEP WITH HIS LEASH ON LOOKING REALLY SAD kOMFGYOD
thank god my burning hatred for humanity keeps me warm throughout these cold winter months
Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified neurosurgeon. I can break into people’s heads and rewire their brains and tamper with their memory, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.
i looked at the OPs blog because i thought it was cool that there was an actual neurosurgeon shitting around on tumblr but its a fucking roleplay blog, its 3am, im going to bed this is the last lie i can deal with in this shit website in this garbage world
THE FIRST TIME I GOT HIGH I GOT REALLY INSPIRED AND I WROTE DOWN A BEAUTIFUL SONG AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SO GREAT AND ORIGINAL AND MOVING BUT THEN A FEW DAYS LATER WHEN I WASN’T HIGH I FOUND IT ON MY FLOOR AND REALIZED I HAD JUST WRITTEN DOWN THE LYRICS TO FIREWORK BY KATY PERRY
you dont even need to know what took place before this because this happens with literally everything we talk about
when u know u hecked up
we have this little fuzzy cube cat toy that had balls in it which the cat is supposed to fish out of it. what my cat does is stick his fucking head in it, he does it all the time, he loves this fucking cube and when i take it off him he just rams his head straight back in it. he runs around with this cube on his head, he beats up his brother with this cube on his head, he dips this fucking cube into his water bowl. #1 cat